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Tuesday, November 30, 2021

5 Democrats We’re Thankful For (?)

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Well, it’s that time of year again. Put the turkey in the oven on time, make sure the masked potatoes aren’t lumpy, and thank the yelling boys at the soccer game.

We political experts are grateful for all those things too, but since our brains seem to be wired a little differently, we also have other things that we would like to thank our lucky stars for on Turkey Day. .

So without further ado, the five Democrats (yes, those who hug trees, drive electric cars, choose their left-handed pronouns) who make our lives, well, interesting….

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# 1: Representative Cori Bush (D-MO)

As a member of Congressman Bush, your humble correspondent would like to take this opportunity to apologize on behalf of the ordinary people of Missouri’s First Congressional District. It’s not our fault, but we’re still sorry.

But digressing … It’s not every day your congressman invents a new nickname that takes the country by storm. So maybe we should be grateful for his “language skills”. Who can forget that memorable phrase, “giving birth to people”?

Knowing that pleasing potential voters is a strong point for Democrats, Rep. Bush did not want women, who become men and later have babies, to think that the Democratic Party does not care.

Hence, “give birth to the people.” It is practically a “seinfeld-ism” now.

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# 2 Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY)

America’s favorite bartender turned legislator. But making a killer margarita isn’t AOC’s only talent. She is an economics student at a prestigious institution of higher education on the East Coast.

In 2019, Democrats had the brilliant idea to abolish private health insurance and institute a “health insurance for all” plan for the nation. This nightmare would have cost taxpayers approximately $ 32 billion.

When asked during an interview with Jorge Ramos how it would be paid, AOC scratched his head on a pin, then tilted it to the side like his dog and came up with this gem, that people would “just pay for it.”

This, fellow citizens, is the result of your tax money going to the universities.

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# 3 Hillary Clinton

No other candidate in history was less responsible for his own loss than Hillary Clinton. Wasn’t it because nobody likes him? Wasn’t it because he had really bad ideas for the country? Wasn’t it because she was just a bad candidate?

No, the list of persons responsible for the event that, more to be thankful for, Hillary Clinton is not the president:

  • James Comey
  • Vladimir Putin
  • Barack Obama
  • The media
  • Bernie Sanders and his followers
  • Green Party Candidate Jill Stein
  • Sexism
  • White resentment (wth?)
  • And last but certainly not least … Donald Trump!
  • This list is by no means complete. Nearly forgotten Macedonian content farms.

# 4 Vice President Kamala Harris

With a 28% approval rating, how could Vice President Harris not be on the list? From her deafening laugh to her condescending, what the hell was I thinking, fake French accent, and her non-existent resolution of the crisis on the southern border, the nation’s first vice president is setting the bar for the next Veep woman or even the first woman president. very low.

Has he disappeared from public view because he really hates Joe Biden or because he thinks he is ruining his future political opportunities? Seeing how she dropped out of the presidential race when she wasn’t voting well in California, hating Joe might work better for her.

# 5 President (?) Joe Biden

Unfortunately, America will have Joe in the lunch bucket to play with for a few more years. We will marvel at his adventures with Cornpop, who was a bad guy, telling unintelligible stories to the Pope, and God knows what else.

Joe only took 47 years of inactivity, plagiarism, other just lie to get to the highest office in the country.

And… An honorable mention.

A few days ago an image appeared next to with a “Political Insider” story. It’s a photo of Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), who at this point may well be a Democrat, talking about how he “almost” used his weapon against the rioters on January 6.

The picture is from a committee hearing on January 6 and tells you everything you need to know about Congressman Kinzinger. Enjoy the laughter and Happy Thanksgiving.

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